Solar Flare
by Dakotta Sky
Summary: Bella finds out that Jake ran away. What will she do with her change rapidly approaching? Will she still be Jake's friend? What extremes will Jake take for Bella? Finally complete!
1. Leaving Old Things Behind

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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JPOV

Running away never sounded so pleasing before. Running away from everything I had grown to dislike. It gives me a weird high. I can't begin to explain it.

I don't hear any of them; vampires, werewolves, or even Bella. I don't want to hear any of them, except Bella. Why couldn't she have chosen to stay human? Chosen to stay human with me?

Did she really need _him_ to survive? I doubt it. I don't think she thought it completely through.

Gah! Why can't I stop thinking about her? She made her decision. She chose _him._ Isn't that enough reason to forget her forever? Why does this have to be so complicated?

I keep thinking of the last time I saw her. She came to me when I was still recovering from the fight. She had told me that she had made her decision; she told me goodbye, forever.

I took a deep breath. Forget about her, I told myself. She made her choice, that's it, it's done. She's not coming back for you. Get over it.

I looked up at the sky, it was a vew moon. I pushed my speed faster. I had been running for a few days. I knew that I was well into Canada by now. I looked up at the sky again. The twinkling stars winked at me, telling me everything was going to be fine, I made the right choice. She was going to marry that bloodsucker. She was going to become one herself, too. She was going to be disgustingly beautiful and seductive. And don't even let me forget about the horrid smell!

"Who's there?" a voice called out, I couldn't be sure whether it was in my head or out loud, it had been so long since I heard any speaking.

"Who is there?" the voice got angry. This person didn't like being ignored very well.

"I know you hear my thoughts. I can hear yours!" Shit, he can hear my thoughts.

"Fine. I'm Jacob. Happy?"

"Humph... Jacob, huh?"

"Yea, Jacob." this guy was really getting annoying.

"What are you? How come we can hear each other's thoughts?"

"I'm not going to tell you. I have no clue why."

"Well, where are you?"

"I'm in the woods, other than that, I don't know."

"Tourist?"

"In a way, yea."

"Okay, is there a river to your left?" I looked to my left, then to my right.

"Nope, my right."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute. Don't move."

Great, I get to scare the crap out of a boy. Fun stuff, fun stuff.

"I'm here. Where are you exactly?" I saw a littler gray spotted black wolf next to me.

"I'm right in front of you." he jumped and whimpered at my tone.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I didn't realize you were a wolf too."

"Happens all the time," I brushed what he said off. "How many of you guys are there, boy?"

"Five."

"What tribe are you from?"

"The Sioux tribe. We live over there." he nodded his head farther north.

"I lived in LaPush with the Quilete tribe."

"Lived?"

"Long story, one that I don't want to go over right now."

"Okay."

"Are there vampires near here?"

"Yea, they call themselves the Cotes."

"In my hometown, we dealt with the Cullens and their hostile visitors." then I thought of _her._ I saw her leaving me that last day. The boy winced at my memory.

"I'm sorry, man." was all he could say.

"Yea, well, I wasn't as important to her as the bloodsucker was." my thoughts were cloudy again, I could think clearer now.

"If my tribe comes looking for me, don't tell them I'm here anymore, say that I left. The leader will be Sam."

"Okay, but why will they be looking for you?"

"Because... because I ran away, okay. Happy? Do you have to know everything about me? I just couldn't stand being there with all of my memories of _her_ and everyone feeling sorry for me. I just couldn't handle it, okay?"

"Okay, we'll hide you, relax."

"Thanks."


	2. Upseting Discoveries

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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BPOV 

"Alice, the dress is fine, the church has enough flowers, and everyone's here. Can't we go yet?" Alice shook her head at me as she groomed me.

"But this is your guys' first wedding, it has to be perfect."

"It already is, Alice. Everything is immaculate and better than perfect. I promise, we'll never forget it, okay?"

"Alright, I guess we can go now. Let's get you down the aisle." Alice pushed me and me beautiful dress towards the door.

I was met by Charlie at the door of the church. His face was so troubled as he looked sadly at me. Aha! Exactly, Charlie had something bad to say about Edward and that's why she didn't want me to go out there. Geez, what could be so bad that she would worry over what I would do?

"What's the matter, dad?"

"Honey, it's Jake."

"What did he do this time?"

"Bells, he's missing."

"What?" this is what Alice didn't want me to know.

"He was last seen running north. Billy thinks that he ran away."

"Why? Why would he run away?"

"Can you think of any reason?" Charlie gave me a stare and I knew the reason. It was me getting married to Edward that made him run away like this. "Billy did say that Edward sent Jake an invitation, he said it had a letter in it but didn't say what it said."

"A letter?" my voice was very confused.

"Alice, can I use your phone for a minute?"

"Um, Bella, don't you think this can wait?" Alice took one look at me and decided not to push it. "Apparently not."

I walked out of the church doors as soon as I got the phone. I stood outside and called the one person I wanted answers from, Edward.

He answered on the first ring. "Yes, Bella?"

"Why did you send Jake an invitation with a letter in it? What did you write in the letter? Why didn't you tell me about it sooner?"

"Relax, Bella. I was just being polite," he said in a calming voice that might have calmed me if I wasn't so upset.

"Why didn't you tell me about it then?"

"Because I didn't think that it was that big of a deal."

"Well, Edward, it is now. Jake is missing! He ran away!" I said shrilly, on the verge of histerics.

Edward didn't respond to what I said, he was just silent.

"You knew! You knew, Edward! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew that it would upset you."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yes, I was actually going to take you with me to look for him."

"You were?"

"I was going to try," he admitted.

"Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry Edward, but I _have _to call Sam right now. I'll be done in a couple of minutes, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."


	3. Torn Apart

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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BPOV

I dialed the phone so fast that I couldn't be sure that I'd type them at all. The phone rang a couple times before a gruffy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Sam, don't hang up, please."

"Why shouldn't I? You and your boyfriend cost me my brother. Why should I listen to anything you have to say?"

"Because I care, Sam, I always will. But I didn't think it was good for him to think that anything would happen that wouldn't. I didn't want to hurt him anymore and it turns out I hurt him more than ever. I'm sorry Sam, but me saying this and proving how sorry I am for everything I've done isn't going to bring him back. I want to help. I want to go with you guys. I have to. I have to prove to him that I care, even if I shouldn't."

"You did enough to help and there's nothing that you could do except scare him farther away then he already is."

"Sam, have you ever thought that it's my voice that he wants to hear instead of yours? Did it ever cross your mind that he partly ran away from you too?"

"Still, Bella, it's your presence that has torn him into pieces, not your voice. Your actions, Bella. You knew that you could never love him more than the bloodsucker and yet you still continued to do what you did. You knew that it would have an effect on him, it was just a matter of time until it happened. You knew that, and you still did it. Why did you do it, Bella, why?"

I sighed deeply. "I knew what I was doing was wrong, sure. But I can't tell you why I did it. I don't even know. Jake was like a light in the world of darkness. He let me be myself. He showed me that the world could be beautiful. Sam, if I don't help you find him, I don't know what I will do."

"Don't you have a new life to begin?" Sam said in disgust, it felt like he spit on me.

"Sam, that can wait, Jake can't! I know that I can save him, Sam. I know it."

"I don't know, what if you drive him farther away? What then?"

"Sam, I doubt that will happen, but if it does, I'll back off and I'll leave forever. I won't bother you or him again if that happens. I'll leave you in peace Sam, I promise. Just let me make this up to him, please? I have to."

"Fine, you can come with us on our journey. We leave tomorrow night at dusk. Meet us in LaPush at the First Beach. We'll be waiting."

"Okay, I'll be there, promise."

"Oh, and Bella, one more thing, don't bring any of your friends on our trip. We don't need anymore allies with the vampires. Got it?"

"Sure Sam, whatever you say."

"See you there. Happy wedding Bella." Sam sounded like he regretted telling me the last sentence. I didn't press the issue. I didn't want to argue anymore with him. I just wanted to find Jake.

JPOV

"Hey man, what's up?" a muscular looking teen shook my hand. His long hair moved with the movement of shaking my hand.

"Hey, I'm still moving." I replied. If that's living, I thought to myself.

"My man, Philip says that you're a runaway."

"Yea, so." I replied, my voice getting an edge to it, getting defensive.

"Chill, man. I'm not going to turn you in, I just wanted you to know that I knew. That's all."

"Sure, sure."

"My name is Dakota, but you can call me Cody. Everyone does."

"Fine, _Cody_." I said the name with extra emphasize. He smiled at that.

"So, why'd you runaway?" Cody asked, intent to find out, I realized, one way or another. I'd rather him hear it from me instead of his buddy _Philip_. Why'd that kid say anything? It wasn't Cody's business whether I was a runaway or not, was it?

"I uh," a vision of her coursed through me again, the day that she came to LaPush after he left her, the day that she said goodbye. God, why me? Why do I have to be haunted by these nightmares?

"Man, what's the matter?"

"Um, just memories."

"Memories, huh?"

"Yea, old memories of a girl I used to know. But I won't ever see her again, nor do I want to."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yea."

"Why'd you guys break up?"

"We were never a thing, or at least not to her, not till she figured out that the fact that she loved me didn't matter as much as how much I loved her."

"I'm so sorry, man."

"What do you have to be sorry for? It wasn't you who did it. You didn't have any control over her, or what she fell in love with."

Cody growled. "She fell in love with an _it_, not a real person?"

"Yep, a bloodsucker. A filthy, _bloodsucker _that will have already married her and sometime in three days, she'll have turned into one herself." visions of her as a vampire flushed into my mind. Why? Why was I tortured like this? What did I do to deserve this? Fall in love with someone who didn't have a heart to give? Is that what I did wrong? Did I make her realize that she loved me too late? Was that my fault or hers?

"What happened?" Cody said in between tight closed teeth.

"She met him at her school, he left her 'for her own good.' She turned into a lifeless moving being. She came to my house and we spent almost every minute together. I realized that I loved her, and I think that she thought so too, but she wouldn't admit it to herself. Then he thought that she killed herself and she found out that he was going to try to end his existence. She flew on a plane with his _sister_ to save him. She came back and everything was hunky dory with them. Then a vampire started a war and the Cullen family, his _family_, and the werewolves of LaPush, joined forces to protect her and the town. She realized and admitted to herself that she knew that she fell in love with me. Then during the fight I got hurt and while I was recovering, she came to visit and told me that she couldn't hurt me anymore, she couldn't be my friend because I would always want more. Then she gets engaged to _him_ and _he_ sends me an invitation to their wedding. Guess what was inside the invitation waiting for me?"

"I don't know, what?"

"A letter. A letter from Edward himself. The _thing_ wrote me a letter saying that he thanked me for letting him marry her and spend the rest of eternity with her." I hadn't realized that I had been crying until I opened my eyes. They were foggy, I couldn't see anything. "My Bella, why? Why my Bella?" I sat down on the ground and just cried. It felt like my insides had been turned inside out. No, that didn't even begin to cover it. I was torn apart, parts of me were strewn everywhere. I knew that there was no way that I would ever be the same after this. I was ruined, forever.


	4. Plans

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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BPOV

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The priest's words seemed to drag on forever, but finally it was over. Edward kissed me softly, full of meaning and we were married. My nightmare was over. Or most of it, anyway, Jake was still missing.

I rode off to the Cullen's house in the limo that Alice insisted on us using. Edward was sitting next to me quietly, probably trying to figure out how to make the Jake situation better. He knew that it was tearing me up inside.

He probably was trying to figure out a way to say that it was all his fault that Jake left, that he wouldn't have left if he didn't send him the letter. Edward was always the one to try to make me feel better for the things that I'd done to other people.

But the thing was, I knew that this was _my_ fault. If I didn't hurt Jake so bad in the first place, if I wasn't a selfish being, he wouldn't have fallen in love with me. He would have found some other girl who wasn't bound to a destiny of living for an eternity. A girl who wouldn't choose someone else over him. Someone not like me, someone that isn't selfish and someone who cares about how she affect other people's emotions.

"Bella, I'm sorry that I sent Jake that letter. I really am." Edward broke the silence, rubbing my back, trying to calm me.

"Edward, it's not your fault. I'm the one who hurt him first, your letter just pushed him over the edge."

"But _I _was the one to push him, _I _did, not you. I knew what I was doing too, I guess I wanted him to stay away during the wedding."

"I doubt that, you're a guy, but you're not that cruel. You were probably just being polite, which would make Esme happy. I'm not sure she'd be happy about the letter though, but the thought was nice, I think."

"But if I didn't send him that letter, he wouldn't have left like this. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry Bella, I truly am."

"Edward, I don't think the letter would have made much of a difference. I think the wedding and the turning of me would have pushed him over the barrier as it is. It would have happened anyway, stop blaming yourself."

"Aren't you even a little mad at me?"

"At first I was, but then I realized that he would have left anyway. And as I thought about it, I also realized that I pushed him way more then a little letter could, so I had _no_ reason to be upset with you."

"I'm still sorry, you might have been able to see him again before he left."

"I wouldn't have seen him again if he didn't leave, I couldn't do that to him again. That is, until I heard that he ran away."

"What do you mean, until he ran away?"

"Edward, you have to trust me when I say this, okay?"

"What are..." he sighed deeply. "I trust you."

"Tomorrow night, I'm meeting Sam and the wolves to help search for Jake."

"But Bella, we were going to..." he pinched his nose. "I have to go with you."

"No, Edward, you can't. They won't let me go then. Plus we're meeting on the reservation, you can't come with me."

"Why not?"

"Because Sam thinks that you're going to drive him farther away. And I promised that I wouldn't let any of your family go either." I looked away sheepishly, guiltily.

"They made you promise? They think I'm going to interfere, don't they?"

"They didn't say that! They just want _my_ help, that's all, no more. They didn't even want to let me go, but I kind of talked them into it."

"You tricked them into letting you go?"

"Yep, they didn't want me to go at all. They didn't even want to hear my voice. Sam threatened to hang up the phone when he realized that I was the one calling."

"So where does that leave us?"

"Edward, I love you entirely, you know that. But I have to help them find Jake, I owe it to them, to Jake. After I help get Jake home safe, we can go off to where ever you want to take me, we can start to enjoy our life as vampires together. But let me find Jake first. If I don't, I don't think I'll be very sane for very long."

"Okay Bella, but if there is anything, anything that I can do while your on you trip, call me on my cell, you got that?"

"Yes sir."

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Edward pulled his arms around me.

"Um, what about going to the meadow to spend the night?"

"Sounds like a wonderful idea Mrs. Edward Cullen." Edward laughed and smiled my favorite crooked smile.

"I know, doesn't it?"


	5. Pleading

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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JPOV

"My man Jake," Cody raised his hand for a shake. "It's about time you woke up."

"Yea." I rubbed my eyes.

"If you want, you can join us on our run today. We're going to be checking that the Cotes have been keeping their bargain. Are you in?"

I thought about it for a minute. It would be a good experience, but the fact that we would be looking after the Cotes like I used to look after the Cullens would bring unhappy memories to mind.

"Cody, not yet. Plus, the rest of the pack doesn't really like me. I'll do it some other time, I promise."

"Okay, you promised. Remember that, I'll hold you to it."

And with that, Cody was gone. I wandered around the reservation, looking at random things that were in plain sight. Nothing really to look at, just some old fire pits still smoldering and pots and pans that were licked clean by hungry eaters.

This was going to be one of those dull days, I just knew it. One of those days where I had nothing to do but think of her and of how she was wasting her whole life. I wished that she had just died one of the many times that she almost did, that way I wouldn't have to think about her being with _him_ all the time.

I quickly took it back, of course. I didn't really want her dead, I just wanted her mine. Was that the only thing it came down to? Was I jealous or overprotective? Probably both. Yep, definitely both.

Take a deep breath Jake, I told myself. Maybe she decided last minute not to marry him.

No, I told myself. She _loves him with all her heart, forever. _But maybe, maybe she heard about that damned letter that he sent me. What would she do if she knew? She would go ballistic, that's what. But she still wouldn't leave him. No, she _loves_ him too much, doesn't she?

I slapped my forehead with the heel of my hand. "Why can't I forget about her?" I asked the empty air, tears rolling down my cheeks. Was I always going to think about her like this? Was I doomed to mourn her human life for the rest of my existence?

BPOV

"Edward, I thought you understood this yesterday. I'm going to go to LaPush to help Sam and the pack find Jake. You and our family are going to stay home. I'm going to call you if there is any emergency. You and our family will only come to get me if I call you. And if you and our family come, it's only to help me, not interfere with what they are doing, or to drive Jake farther away. Got it?"

"Bella, I don't want to let you go alone, It worries me."

"Edward, there's nothing to _worry_ about. Trust me?"

"You know I trust you, it's just, you're going somewhere alone with werewolves, trying to find an angry, lost werewolf and I don't know what's going to happen. It's not like I can use Alice, you'll be with werewolves, they obstruct her visions, remember?"

"Yes I remember. And I understand that you're worried about my safety, but Edward, Sam won't let anything happen to me and you know that Jake isn't going to hurt me. I'm the only one that he really wants to see. He'll be happy that I'm not a vampire yet. Everything will be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. And if it does, you'll be the first to know about it, I promise."

Edward looked at my face for a few moments before finally nodding his head. "Okay Bella, but if you get hurt doing this, I'll never let you be alone with werewolves ever again, you know that right?"

"Yes, I understand that part," I sighed deeply. "Are you going to drive me to the border now or what?"

He sighed more deeply than I ever could, but it still sounded musical and whispered something so low I couldn't even understand what he was saying. But he put the car into drive and speed down the long hidden driveway to the highway at the end of it.


	6. Explaining

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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BPOV

"Are you sure that you want to go? You can still come back home if you want..." Edward gave me a look with hopeful eyes.

"No, Edward. I'm going, I'm not coming home with you until I help somewhat," I said, looking back at him. "I'm sorry, Edward, but I have to."

We were at the border; Edward's Volvo parked quietly waiting for him to turn it on and go back home.

"Remember what I said, Bella. If there's anything that happens, call me right away. I'll come and get you, no matter what you say, but that doesn't mean you don't tell me, okay? I want you to be safe." He sighed heavily. "I must be out of my mind to let you go with a pack of wolves to god knows where."

I reached up with my hands to his face, holding it. "I will be fine, nothing will happen to me. Please, don't worry about me, okay?"

"Do you promise to come back in one piece, unscathed?" His tone was off; he was having a real difficult time with this.

"Unscathed? Are you kidding me? I'm bond to fall and scrap my hands on something!"

Edward smiled. "I know, it's hopeless to wish that you won't fall, isn't it?"

I laughed. "You got that right."

Then his expression got serious again. "You will try to be safe, won't you?"

I stopped smiling, a frown taking it's place. "Of course I will, Edward."

He smiled weakly, trying to show that he wasn't upset. "Then you better get going to First Beach before you're late."

"I love you, Edward, you know that, right?" I could feel tears threatening to fall.

"Of course I do Bells."

I sat there for another minute, watching his face for all the emotions that he was feeling. He was very good at hiding them, by the way. To untrained eyes, he would look normal. But to me, I knew that he was suffering in more than one way. I hated seeing him this way, but I knew if I didn't leave now, I never would.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I _have_ to go," I said. "I'm sorry," I whispered to him as the tears started to fall. I opened the door and got out into the rain before I could change my mind, not even looking back at the sound of the Volvo's quiet humming disappearing.

I ran in the rain to First Beach, only falling once. When I was close, I could see tall figures standing in a semi-circle. They must hate me, I thought instantly. I looked down at my left hand before continuing, the beautiful ring glittered like a thousand twinkling lights, even in the rain.

Sam was the first to say anything when I finally stopped in front of the pack. "Bella, you came. We had our doubts."

"I gave you my word, Sam."

"Why are you helping us? So you can hurt Jacob more when he comes home?" Quil asked, with obvious anger and hatred threaded in his voice.

"I am helping you because I realized that I have hurt all of you and the only way that I can think of to undo that is to help you find him. Then I can stay out of your lives for the rest of my life. I'm sorry that Jake ran away. I know it's my fault. If I wasn't so greedy in our friendship, he wouldn't have thought anything _could_ happen between us. He would be here, safe tonight. I know that it's not enough, but it's the best that I have, it's the best that I can do. I've done wrong by all of you, not just Jake, and I'm admitting that now. I'm trying to make it better, Quil. And I promise that I won't do it again, to any of you or anyone else, for that matter. I've learned my lesson."

"So, after you help us find Jacob, you're just going to leave him again?" Embry asked.

"That will only screw him over worse!" Leah's shrill screaming made me jump.

"Embry, Leah, relax."

"Relax, Sam, relax?" Leah snorted. "This girl has only been trouble since she came! She's caused us more trauma then the bloodsuckers could! It's been her who's been attracting them over here like flies and garbage! And you're going to side with her? You're going to let her talk her way into ruining our reservation more?" After Leah's spiel, she spit on the ground in front of Sam and me.

"Leah, Bella wasn't going to make things worse. She's just going to tell him how she feels, then she's going to explain to him that she won't lock him out of her life, but she won't let him think that anything's going to happen between them. Then she'll leave. It's not as bad as I thought it would be," Sam corrected Leah. Leah blushed radically.

"How'd you know that?" My mouth gapped.

"You're very easy to read, Bella."

"So, are we going to leave anytime soon, or what?" Paul asked, calmed a little by what was just said.

"Sure, sure," Sam paused. "Bella, we can't have you walking all of the way, you'll slow us down and I know for sure that you'll hurt yourself if you tried to keep up. You have mud all over you already, just form the border to First Beach," Sam said, laughing huskily.

"So, how am I going to travel with you guys?" I asked.

"Does anyone want to volunteer to carry Bella?" Sam asked the pack behind him.

Paul, Embry, Quil and Seth stepped forward, arguing over who should carry me as they did so.

"Silence," Sam said with authority. "The four of you will carry her."

"Sam, how will the three of us carry her?"

"You will have to take turns." Sam turned to Paul. "Paul, do you think that you can kepp you temper under control enough to carry her?"

"Yes, I do Sam, thank you."

"Embry, Quil, Seth?"

"Yes, Sam," the three of them answered at the same time.

"You do realize that you'll have to carry her in human for, not wolf form, right?"

"That won't be a problem," Paul answered for the group.

"Okay." Sam turned away from me momentarily. "Paul, you carry her for six hours. Then you, Embry, for the next six hours, and you Quil, for the following six. And Seth will carry her for the remaining six of the day. And it will keep going that way, until we're back home, got it?"

"Yes, Sam," they all replied. Paul then materialized at my side. I looked up at him and he smiled sweetly at me. I gulped; I never realized how much like Jake he was.

"May I?" he asked politely.

"Sure," I replied.


	7. The Hills

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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JPOV

Cody and the pack came back in only a few hours. Cody was telling me about their run. About how the Cotes were still doing what the bargain or treaty said they were allowed. But I spaced out after he said his first sentence, my mind wandering to Bella again. I tried to imagine her as a bloodsucker, inhumanly beautiful, and smelling awful. Hopefully she'd have golden eyes, that way I wouldn't have to worry about her being killed by our kind. Somehow, I knew that she wasn't that way yet, though, I still knew that it would happen.

"Jake?" Cody yelled waving his hands in front of me. "Jake! Earth to Jake!"

"Huh? What?" I shook my head, releasing my mind from Bella.

"Dude, what were you thinking about?" Cody asked.

"Bella, why?"

"Man, you were talking to yourself."

"No way! What did I say?"

"Mostly just pleading with someone not to do something."

I knew what I was saying, and who I was saying it to. I was pleading with Bella not to go, not to marry _him_.

"Jake, are you sure you're okay, man?"

"Yep, never been better."

BPOV

"So, did you have a nice wedding?" Seth asked me calmly.

"Pretty nice, except for the news of Jake being missing. That kind of ruined my mood," I admitted.

"Why?" Seth asked curiously. It was his turn to carry me.

"Well, because I felt like I was guilty, and I am. And it made me really sad. Jake is like a brother to me, ya know?"

"Yea, I know the feeling." Seth smiled, he smiled just like Jake used to before he was a werewolf.

"Seth, we have to slow down. There's another pack somewhere north of here, we caught their scent," Sam informed Seth.

"Okay, what do you want us to do?" Seth asked Sam.

"Let Bella walk, for now. If we smell their camp, we might be able to find out if they know where Jake is," Sam paused. "Bella, if Jake _is_ there, we're going to need you to talk to them. They might have seen your face in his head."

"Okay, Sam, anything you need me to do, I'll do it," I replied.

"Thanks."

EPOV

Last night, I wished that I could have just went with her or taken her with me on our own search. But I knew that that wouldn't be possible. The werewolves wouldn't allow me to look for Jake. I can't stop thinking about her though. What is she doing right now? Is she okay? Have they found a scent yet? What is happening? It's driving me mad!

"Edward, she's fine, she's a trooper," Carlisle said, trying to get me to relax.

"She's a tough girl, Edward," Emmett agreed.

"She's going to come home Edward," Esme added.

"But, will she still feel the same way? Will she still love me, or will she want to be with Jacob?" I expressed my biggest fears. What if she didn't want to be with me anymore? What if she finally realized that she wanted Jacob instead of me?

"Edward, at the wedding, she was upset about Jacob, but she loves you so much that it didn't matter at the moment if he was gone. She wanted nothing more than to be with you," Jasper countered.

"Edward, I'm so sorry that she found out this way. There was nothing I could do to stop Charlie from telling her," Alice cried.

"Alice, I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with myself. Why did I have to send him that letter? I knew it would push his buttons, I guess I was trying to be polite."

"And Bella knows that, Edward," Jasper replied.

"But it still isn't enough. I shouldn't have done that."

"Edward, we all do things that we regret," Carlisle added.

"I guess you're right. If it's okay, I think I'll go to my room, if you don't mind."

"Nobody minds," Esme answered.

BPOV

I walked forever it seemed until finally we came to a little camp. As we got closer, people started to look up at us with curiosity clear in their eyes.

"Keep close, Bella, we don't want to lose you here." Sam lead the pack down the hill that was in front of the camp, Seth helping me walk steadily.

I noticed that there was a large boy walking towards the hill close to where we would be in a matter of seconds.

"How may we help you?" the boy asked looking us over. When his eyes settled upon me, he stared longer. I knew what that meant, Jake had been here. He knew who I was.

I stepped forward, not sure if Sam would mind or not. "I am Bella. I wonder if _I_ can speak to Jake alone, just me. And then, we will leave, I give you my word."

"_You_ are Bella?" the boy asked, irritation colored his voice.

"Yes, I am."

He huffed for a moment. "I'm not sure if I should be doing this..."

"Then why don't you? You weren't told specifically who he doesn't want to see or not," I added.

"Stop trying to confuse me, bloodsucker lover!" he hollered.

"There's no need to shout mister," I scolded softly.

He huffed some more and finally motioned for me to follow.

"Thank you, mister," I added lightly after he agreed.

We walked for a couple of minutes, passing tepees and camp fires until we finally got to a small teepee of to the side.

"Now, please don't go upsetting him, okay? We really don't want any troubles."

"Okay, mister."

"My name's not mister, it's Phillip," he corrected.

"Okay, Phillip." He turned away and I slowly walked in the teepee making sure I didn't make any noise.

Jake was in here, I could smell his husky outdoorsy scent. I searched the teepee. There were a lot of drawings everywhere. They were of everything that was outside, flowers, people, tepees, camp fires, the hills and trees. It was endless. I finally spot him at the side of the teepee, nestled in hide blankets, not that he needed them. I decided not to wake him. I would just sit on the other side of the teepee, waiting for him to wake up.


	8. Compromises

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

JPOV

I was having the weirdest dream. It was so real that I almost believed that it happened. I dreamed that Bella had come for me, she still cared. But I knew in my mind that that couldn't be true. Bella didn't care.

I ended up tossing and turning until finally waking up. I sat up and looked around, something smelled wrong. It smelled like Bella. Was I losing my sense of smell? Was I crazy?

"Jake, you're finally awake. I was beginning to think maybe I should have woken you up after all," Bella said in relief.

"B..be..bella?" I stuttered.

"Yes, Jake?"

I must be dreaming, I must be dreaming. I pinched myself. Nope, not dreaming.

"What are you doing here?"

"Finding you," she answered matter-of-factly.

"Is Edward here too?"

"Nope, I went all by my lonesome."

"All by yourself?"

"Well... not _all_ by myself," she paused. "I came with the pack."

"_They_ let _you_ come with you?"

"Yep. It took some leverage though, I have to admit." She smiled her lovely smile making my insides melt. She seemed to notice and her smile faded.

"Jake... I don't know how to explain this so that you'll understand," she trailed. I started to get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Jake, I love you, sure, but for me to keep talking to you, you have to accept some things."

"Okay..."

"Like, you have to accept the fact that I love Edward, even though you'd wish I didn't."

"Not so hard." I winked to show how cool that was with me.

"You can't interfere with my life with Edward."

"Still, not hard."

"And you have to let me live my life, undead or alive," she added, watching my reaction closely.

I winced. "That's not so easy."

"I know, but it's the only way that I'll let you stay in my life. I don't want to hurt you Jake, but I just can't win. When I tell you that I won't see or speak to you again, you run away and when I keep you in my life, you're hurting still. No matter what I do I'm hurting you, Jake. So I'm going to let you choose. You can either not be in my life at all or you can be in my life but not as the player you choose, but just my friend. Which one do you want?"

I took a deep breath. Relax Jake, I told myself. She's giving me a choice. That's better than choosing for me.

"So you're really here?"

"Yes."

"And you're really giving me a chance to be in your life?"

"Yes."

"So if I'm in your life still, I have to accept your decisions, and I can't try to take the place of Edward?"

"Yes."

"Bella, I'd rather be in your life than not be in your life. I need to be around you. Knowing that I'm at least allowed to see you and hear your voice is enough for me. But seeing you as a vampire, that might be a little harder."

"Jake, if you really need me to survive, you'll choose to be my friend no matter what. It wouldn't matter to you."

"You know, you do have a point."

"I usually do." She smiled again, not caring if she set my heart soaring. "So do you choose to be my friend?"

"Hey, I didn't answer yet!" I complained.

"But you're strongly considering it," she accused.

"I never said that."

"Okay, please choose now. I think Sam and the other's have waited long enough. You sleeping for seven hours was long enough wait for them, even though they could probably use the sleep. But I doubt they're sleeping."

"Okay, okay. Stop rambling, it's getting annoying."

"I thought you liked it when I did that!"

"No, only sometimes."

"Choose," she demanded.

"Okay, okay. Give me a minute."

"You've had minutes already. As in more than one."

"I'll go with you. There, happy?"

"Excruciatingly so," she exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear.

"To the pack it is." I nodded towards the door of the teepee.

"But wait," Bella stopped me. "What are these drawings of?"

"Just things that I never really noticed before."

"Then what made you notice them now?"

"Whenever the pain of you leaving me for good was too much, and I though about it a lot, I'd have an hour of peace, where I didn't have to think of anything. I noticed these things then and I wanted to always remember them so I drew them," I explained.

"That's amazing," she said memorized. "I'm sorry that it was me leaving you that lead to this, but it's amazing the details that you put into them. You actually expect the flowers to sway in the wind."

"Thanks," I paused. "Do you want to go meet Sam and the others now?"

"Sure, sure," Bella replied walking out of the teepee and leading the way.


	9. Appreciation

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

BPOV

I don't believe how easily he accepted my conditions. Wow. I thought that I'd be there arguing the reasons why it was a good idea. Not hearing him agree and joke with me. Is he still the same Jake that I used to know?

"So, why did you come for me, anyway?" Jake asked out of no where while we were walking back to the hills.

"I... I really felt bad about how I abandoned you like that Jake. I thought that it was the only way, then I heard of how you ran away and I just knew that I had to prove to you that I still cared. You know, I probably shouldn't have come for you, even though we both like the fact that I did. I probably should have let you move on. That would probably be best for you," I answered sadly.

"I'm glad that you choose to come look for me. I don't think that I should move on. I will always love you Bella, I just have to understand that you don't want that though. That's the part that's gonna bother me the most. Once you're a vampire Bella, I know for sure that you can never be mine. It'll end my little spasm of hope I have left that you'll choose me over him. Even though I know that you won't."

"I'm sorry, Jake, I really am."

"I know," Jake answered.

We were finally at the hills. I could see Sam, Seth, Leah, Paul, Embry and Quil look up with amazement in their eyes.

"You work miracles, Bella," Sam shouted as he swallowed Jake in a hug.

"I do my best," I answered, stepping back from the mauling.

"Thank you, Bella." I looked up to see who had said that. It was Leah I saw looking at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked in confusion. Was she really saying thank you?

"Thank you for bringing him back to us, Bella," Leah repeated.

"Uh, yea. You're welcome," I stuttered. I had never seen a polite Leah.

"I know that I wasn't as nice to you before as I should have been. I was angry about how much pain you had caused Jake and now I realize that you were only trying to do what you thought was right. I'm sorry, Bella," she apologized. What's wrong with Leah? Something is definitely wrong with her! Did she eat some poisonous berries or something on our way? Eat some yellow snow?

"I was wondering, Bella, since we're friends again," a familiar voice called behind me, "maybe I could carry you back?"

"Sure Jake," I called back.

"Thanks, Bella," another voice said behind me. I turned to find Quil standing there.

"You're welcome Quil."

"I don't know how we would have gotten to him if you hadn't come. I'm glad you did," he added.

"I am too, Quil, I am too."

"I think we should start heading back pack," Sam announced.

"Wait! You have to meet the pack here first," Jake told Sam.

"Okay, but we can't stay long, we need to get back to the reservation, Jake."

"It won't take long, I promise."

"Okay, lead the way."

"Sure, sure," Jake said, grabbing my hand.


	10. Disaproval

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

JPOV

I wanted everyone to meet the pack here. I don't know why, for sure. I knew that they might not take a liking to Bella too much, but they wouldn't be too rude. I hoped, anyway.

I lead Bella and the pack to the main teepee. Cody and Phillip stayed there.

"So, why do we have to meet the pack?" Bella asked with curiosity in her voice.

"Don't you want to know them?" I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Not really. They probably will hate me anyway."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, I met Phillip, he wasn't very nice. He hated me as soon as I told him my name. He called me a bloodsucker lover. I don't think that I'm a very liked person here," she admitted.

I kept walking, not answering her reply. She got the hint, I knew that they didn't like her very much. But if she was this upset over what Phillip said, god help her for what Cody will say...

"So, who is your favorite here?"

"Well, since I'm not a very popular person here either, and I only have one _real_ friend here. I would have to say Cody," I answered in a rush.

"Cody, huh?"

"Uh huh."

"What's he like?" her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Well, he's very opinionated and very nice, when he wants to be. But..."

"But, what?"

"He hates vampires, and anyone who has anything to do with them..." I watched as her face was colored with understanding.

"Oh, I see. He's going to hate my guts and he's not going to be very quiet about it, is he?" I shook my head to answer her question.

"Then why do I have to meet him? Why are you taking me there if I'm going to be hanged by words when I get there?"

"I want you to meet him so that you know him. And I'm taking you there because I want to prove to him that you _do_ care about others. He thinks that you're a self-centered..." I didn't finish. I didn't like his choice of words and I didn't want to call her that myself. I risked a glance in her direction. She inferred what I left out, I could tell. She wasn't very happy. I instantly regretted suggesting this. How could I be so stupid?

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Bella," I said, hoping she would say that I didn't hurt her, even though I knew I did.

"You didn't mean it, it's what he said, not you."

"But, Bella, it's not true. You're not really like that."

"Jake" -she turned towards me- "are you so sure that I'm not like that? Are you sure that in the beginning I didn't talk to you because _I_ needed it? Are you so sure that I'm not as selfish as he claims? Because Jake, I think I am. No, I don't think, I _know_ I'm like that." Bella's eyes were welled with tears waiting to fall.

"I know you're not like that Bella. I know you, I've known you for as long as I can remember. That's not you! You needed a friend, and there I was. You didn't take advantage of me!"

"Jake, open your eyes. At first before I actually cared about you, I used you. I used you, and here you are defending me! Here you are, telling me that Cody is wrong. He's not Jake, at first I needed someone to lean on and I had nobody but you. So I used you, then I realized that you were my best friend. How could you be okay with all of that?"

"Because, Bella, I needed someone too. It doesn't matter if you didn't care about me at first, cause you realized that you did after. That's all that matters to me. Knowing that, no matter how it happened, we became friends. That's all I need. That's all I want. I couldn't give a damn about anything else."

Sam then walked up towards us and caught our attention. "Are you two lovebirds going to lead us to the teepee, or what?"

"Yea, we're on our way."

"Oh, and Sam," Bella waited for Sam to look at her, "we're not lovebirds."

"Oh yea, sure you're not," Sam responded sarcastically.

"We're not!" Bella yelled back at him.

"Okay, you two, that's enough," I told Sam and Bella. "We're here." I opened the entrance to the teepee for Sam and Bella.

We walked into a meeting between the pack. They glared at me as they noticed Bella standing there.

"What do we have here?" Cody asked, standing up macho like.

"Cody, this is Bella, Sam, Embry, Quil, Seth, Leah, and Paul," I introduced everyone to him. He was the leader of the Sioux tribe.

"So, this is the famous Bella, huh?"

"Yes, I'm pleased to meet you, Cody." Bella held out her hand to shake Cody's but he shrunk away from it as if she had a disease.

"Hey, Cody, she's not that bad." Sam refereed.

"Oh, she's not that bad? She's only the one that lead to Jacob running to us! She's only the reason that he cried every day! She's the bloodsucker lover who chased Jacob away from you, and she's not that bad?" Cody yelled, outraged.

"Yes, she's made a lot of mistakes, but she's not that bad. She admits that she hurt people and she wanted to make up for it. I know that it's a lot of making up, but I have no doubt in my mind that she can't do it?"

"Oh really?" Cody challenged.

"Yes, I intend on making it up to Jake. It might take me forever, but Jake is worth it to me. He's my best friend. I don't think I would be alive without him."

"If you guys believe this shit, you guys are mental!" Cody exclaimed.

"Well, we're just going to be crazy in our town, if that's okay with you," Sam stated rudely.

"Sure, take her side. But you'll have to deal with this over and over again with her."

"We'll take our chances," I stated coldly.

As soon as we were out of the teepee, Sam told the pack to start heading back. I got the wonderful task of carrying Bella back home. She was so tired but she wouldn't sleep. But finally she feel into the darkness.


	11. Worries And Promises

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

EPOV

"Shouldn't she be back by now?" I asked impatiently for the millionth time.

Alice sighed heavily. "She'll be back when she's back, okay? She's not going to abandon you forever, Edward. Relax."

"How can I when she's off somewhere doing God knows what with those wolves? I was out of my mind to let her go in the first place! Why was I so stupid?" I hit my head with the heel of my palm.

"You want to know what I'm asking myself right now?" Alice asked.

I instantly heard what she was about to say. How could she ask something like that?

"I know you heard me," Alice accused me.

"You want to know why I'm so worried about her? Why I can't stop thinking about her being away from me?" Alice nodded in response.

"I'm worried because of the obvious, she can get hurt or lost. I don't think I'll be able to handle her getting hurt and me not knowing about it to help her. It drives me insane to think about it."

Alice looked at me funny. "What?" I asked.

"I think there's more to it, Edward," Alice lightly accused.

"No, there isn't anything more to it. I'm worried about her safety, that's all," I corrected.

"There's more to it than that, Edward. I know you better than that. Fess up," she encouraged.

"It's too difficult to explain."

"Try me." Alice gave me a very sensitive look and I knew instantly that she only wanted to know because she knew it was bothering me.

"It's just, I'm scared that she'll decide that she doesn't want me. That she doesn't want to be what I am, or spend another minute with me. That she'll discover what a monster I am, what a monster I can be. That she'll leave me for Jacob or someone like him. What then, Alice? What then? What will become of me? I'll be torn to pieces, I know it. And the weird thing is, even though I know how Jacob's been torn to pieces about Bella, I don't really care about him. Not at all, and that's not like me. I usually care about people's feelings. _Usually_, anyway. Not _lately_," I finished my rant and Alice didn't look one bit surprised. As if she knew what was bothering me before I even opened my mouth.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Edward." Was all she could say. Secretly not saying anymore because she didn't really know the answers to tell, nor did she care to think about what _might_ happen. What we knew probably would happen.

BPOV

"So, Bella, we're about 20 minutes away from LaPush, do you want to visit for a little bit before going home to your beloved?" Jake asked me lightly, smiling.

It was hard to say no to his genuine smile, but I realized the right answer wasn't always going to be easy with Jake. "No, I'm sorry Jake. Maybe some other time. I think I should go home so that Edward doesn't worry too much about my well being. He tends to do that a lot..." I trailed off, not looking at Jake's eyes. Not wanting to see the morose look on his face.

"Not even for a little bit?"

"Not a chance. Besides, you've spent nearly two days in travel with me already. Don't you ever get tired of me, Jake?" I asked jokingly.

"Nope, not a chance," he answered, smiling this time, but it was off.

"I really am sorry, Jake. I just think that Edward's been worrying long enough-," Jake interrupted me.

"No need to explain, just promise me that you _will_ come soon."

"Why do I need to promise? You know I will!" I accused.

"I know, but I just like to hear you promise, that's all."

"Okay, okay. I promise that I'll come again soon. Happy?"

"Too much to say."


	12. Reunion

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

JPOV

I couldn't understand why she didn't want to stay and visit for a little bit before going home. It wasn't like she wouldn't have _forever_ to spend with him. Why couldn't she spend a couple hours sitting by our tree off the beach? It couldn't hurt anything.

"Are you sure that you can't stay for a little bit?" I pushed like I had been pushing for 10 minutes.

She sighed and just turned away from me, not answering.

"I guess that's a no."

"Yea, I guess," she muttered, aggravation clear on her face. She hated it when I insisted on something like this, I knew that. I just wanted her to stay with me a little longer. Was that too much to ask?

"So, what are you going to do when you get home?" I asked to change the subject. She seemed grateful, in a way to be talking about something different. Not that she wanted to talk about the new subject either, but it was different, anyway.

"Well, I think I'll just let you sweat that one out, Jake."

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"I never agreed to be fair," she countered.

"I guess you're right. I didn't say you had to be fair when we made our deal, did I?"

She shook her head. "You didn't clarify. Not that I would have let you, anyway. It was either my way or no way at all." She looked into my eyes. "Jake, that's the way it has to be. If I let you have your way, I would only be your."

As she said that, I realized she was right. If I had my way, she would only be _mine_. No one else's. I wished she would only let it be up to me then.

A sudden over powering feeling told me to turn around and go the same way I came, only go farther.

My mind running away with me. I thought about what she would do when she realized what I was thinking; what I wanted to do. She'd probably leave me for good and never look at me again. But what else could I do? I wanted her to myself, right?

Then another thought crossed my mind. If she knew what I was up to, if I had her to myself, would she really be Bella anymore? Would she be _my_ Bella anymore?

As quickly as I thought about kidnaping her, I dismissed it. I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I couldn't lie to her like that.

"Are you okay, Jake?" Bella's concerned voice brought me back to the present.

"Oh yea. Why?"

"Because you seemed to be somewhere else for a little bit. Are you sure that you're okay?"

I smiled weakly at her to show I was fine. "Never been better."

Even though she knew that it was a complete lie, she let the subject drop. We were at First Beach now.

"Jake, you can put me down now."

"Oh, sorry." I put her down with hesitation.

"Jake, please tell me what's the matter with you," Bella pleaded.

"It's just that, I realized that this is all we'll ever be."

She grabbed my hand. "Jake, that's all we were ever meant to be."

"Are you so sure about that?"

"Yes, I am," she answered surely.

"What about soul mates and all that?"

"Jake, if that were true about us, you would have imprinted on me already."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do, Jake."

"So you don't think that we're meant for each other that way?"

She shook her head. "But we're meant to be friends."

"That's not the same."

She sighed. "Jake, I know it's not the same. But you'll probably meet some girl who you imprint on and I'll end up like Leah."

"I would _never _do that to you." I said with tears in my eyes.

"I know that you feel that way now, but Sam probably thought the same thing and he had no choice."

"So, there's no hope for anything more?"

"Jake, if I said yes, I'd be lying to you."

"I understand."

"Do you?" Bella asked herself too quiet, not meaning for me to hear it.

"You probably need to start going, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry Jake. I'll call you when I come over next, okay?"

"Sure, sure." Bella smiled at that and walked away to the border.

BPOV

I knew that my heart to heart talk with Jake hurt his feelings but I had to make things clear. Even if they made me feel horrible later. He had to know how I felt.

I closed my eyes. Wishing that the pain of the discussion would go away. It was a hopeless wish.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Edward. He probably already knew that I was waiting for him, though. I was away from the werewolves.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed loudly through the phone.

I laughed. "Hello to you too, Edward." He seemed too happy for words that I was laughing and seeming to be in good spirits.

"You sound happy," he acknowledged.

"Yes, I am happy. We found Jake."

"I was hoping for that," Edward said, though I could hear his teeth barred.

"Guess where I am."

"Um, taking a break from running home?"

"Nope. Try again."

"Um, I really don't know, Bella."

"I'm at the border, waiting for you."

"Already? That didn't take long at all. I thought that you'd be gone forever looking for him."

"Well, it didn't and I'm back at LaPush. Please hurry, I'm getting soaked."

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella."

"It's okay. What did a little rain ever do to anybody?"

Edward laughed. "Very funny Bells. I'll be there in a few minutes. I have a surprise for you."

I groaned. "You better not have spent any money on me," I scolded.

"Just a little bit. You can pay me back if you want," he quickly added.

"Okay, surprise me."

"Be there in a minute Bella." Then the line went dead.

I waited in the rain for a few minutes. Finally an electric blue Ford Mustang pulled up in front of me. I screamed in shock. Edward got out and put an umbrella over me. Ushering me to the car's drivers seat. I could see the seat was neatly covered in towels to I wouldn't get the leather seats ruined with my wet clothes.

"This," he began, "is your new car."

I shook my head, splattering him lightly with the rain water in my hair. "You didn't need to do this, you know."

"I know, but I wanted to. You still have your old truck but I thought you'd want to drive something that can go faster then 55 mph." Edward laughed again.


	13. Wants

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

JPOV

I watched as Bella got into her new Ford Mustang. Why did he have to be so rich? It was sickening. He got everything.

"Are you okay, man? You're not going to bail on us again are you?" Quil asked, concerned.

"No, I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Just the way things would have been if mythical creatures didn't exist," I answered blankly.

"I'm sorry, man. At least she's willing to spend some time with you."

"Yea, but Quil, it won't be the same once she's turned. _She'll_ be different."

"But, Jake, it's the way she wants it."

"But the way she wants it isn't the right way. The practical way."

"Is anything ever 'the practical way'?"

"What's your point, Quil?" I turned towards him, angry.

"My point is, maybe she had a point. Maybe you _are_ going to find someone that you'll imprint on. Maybe she was right."

"I don't want to imprint on anyone else. That's the thing. I love her and I only want to love her."

"Jake, imprinting isn't about what you _want_. It doesn't _care_ what you _want_. It's going to happen anyway, you can't stop it or will it not to happen."

"Quil, I don't want anyone else. Bella is perfect. I love her so much," I cried.

Quil walked closer to me and put an arm on my shoulders. "I know, man, I know."

BPOV

I can't believe he got me a car! A car. How much spare time did he have to buy that anyway? My live was almost complete. Almost. I decided not to push the subject until we were in the privacy of Edward and my room. Edward, as if expecting a round of questions sat on the bed in the center of the room and waited patiently for me to start.

"So what did you do when I was gone?" I fired off.

"Just sat here, thinking of you. Oh and I bought a car. I believe that's it."

"Why did you buy me a car?"

"I already told you."

"But I don't think that's the only reason, there's more to it."

"No, nothing more than me thinking you might be getting tired of driving too slow."

"I don't think my truck is slow."

"Someone's dead grandmother can move faster!" Edward stated.

"So, let them. I don't want to drive like a maniac."

"Sure, you've never wondered what it feels like?"

"Never. And if I did, all I have to do is ask you to drive me somewhere and I remember."

"Haha. Very funny Bella."

"Oh no, I wasn't being funny. I was being serious. I don't wonder what it feels like after being in the car while your driving."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. It's very terrifying."

"I didn't realize that. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I said.

"So let's get to your real question," Edward urged, seeing right through my attempt to hide what I really wanted to know.

"Edward, I love you. I've proven that. I've waited until I graduated high school. I even married you. Will you please turn me now so that I can be with you forever," I said, getting it all out.

"Bella..." I looked up into his eyes and saw the pain there. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what he wanted.

"It's okay, I get it," I started.

"No Bella, it's not that. I love you, I want you more than anything. But are you sure that you don't want another life? Are you sure that this is what you want? Once you do this, you can't go back. You'll be stuck this way, no matter what. Are you sure you want that?"

"Edward, would I have gotten married to you if I didn't?" I said, grabbing his hands. "I answered myself that question the first time I knew what you were. I told myself that no matter what, I wanted to be with you. Edward, I love you and I will always love you."

"Are you _sure_ that you won't regret being this way later?"

"Edward, as long as I'm with you, I'll never regret anything."

"Okay," Edward answered.

He then motioned for me to come to the bed. He wasn't quite smiling, but I could tell in some way, he was happy. I slowly walked over towards him.

I hope it doesn't hurt too much, I thought to myself.

"You're possitive this is what you want?" Edward asked again.

"Yes, I'm possitive."

When I was finally on the bed he laid me down and whispered I love you's into my ear. I whispered them back. Then he slowly lowered his face to my neck, giving me time to stop him, and bit me.

Suddenly I felt pain like fire. It was different than the last time I was bitten though, I was glad. I didn't quite know why. I writhed in pain and saw Edward's expression through half closed eyes. He was horrified.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he spoke quietly over and over again. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry, Bella."

I tried to tell him that it was okay. I would be fine. What did a little pain ever do to anybody? But he wouldn't have listened anyway. He'd blame himself, that's what he always did when I was hurt.

Suddenly there was someone at Edward's door. "So, you're changing her, huh?"

"She asked for it." Edward turned back at them for a tenth of a second, then back to me. "She's in so much pain, can't I stop it?"

"You can, but I don't think she would want you to," Carlisle trailed.

"I love you, Bella. You'll be okay, I promise." Edward's voice was strained as he tried not to explode from the agony.

"I love you, too." I mananged to get out before another round of shrieks and screams of pain.

"The rest of the family are going hunting. When she wakes up, you should probably take her to."

"Carlisle, is there any way to lessen the pain?" Edward's voice needy.

"I'm afraid this time, there's nothing that pain medication can do."

EPOV

Seeing this creature writhing in pain was unendurable. This creature was not Bella anymore. It had become a breathing, tortured, writhing body and I caused it. How could I have given into her want so easily? How could I have taken her innocent life away from her and given her pain instead? What was wrong with me?

I held her hand as Carlisle walked away. I heard a jeep roar to life. Everyone was leaving to go 'hunting' but I knew they couldn't stand the smell of Bella's blood or the sound of her screaming for three days.

Bella screamed again shrilly. And this is only day one, I thought to myself. How am I going to stand her pain any longer?


	14. Senses

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

EPOV

After three excruciating days of pain, Bella finally awoke.

She was beautiful beyond expectation. So beautiful she gave Rosalie a run for her money. Not that she didn't before the change, but now, you knew that there was no way that Rosalie would ever stop being jealous. Rosalie sure did have a problem with that. She always had to be the center of attention. Always had, always will.

Bella's eyes weren't completely red, nor were they golden. They were just... a weird reddish-brown color. I couldn't understand it. Newborns are supposed to have red eyes from the human blood, but for some reason, hers weren't. I bet that when Carlisle saw this, he'd have different theories to explain it.

Her brown hair was wavy and perfect. You just wanted to run your hand through it. It was still long, but it had a different look to it. One that couldn't be explained in words.

I think the _big_ thing was _she_ couldn't be explained in words. She was different then she had been, but still the same. Some things were barely noticeable, while others, you couldn't help but see.

I waited patiently for her to sit up. I didn't want to disturb her. She was finally going to open her eyes to the new world in front of her and I couldn't wait to she her reaction. See her face glow with the new senses that she received. It was something that I couldn't miss.

BPOV

I knew that it had to be over when I didn't feel anymore pain.

Please let it be over, I thought to myself. I opened my eyes. Everything was different. The world seemed to bug out at me as if I had been living in 2D my whole life and was finally introduced to 3D.

I searched the room for my Edward. He was sitting on the couch, waiting patiently. I smiled hugely at him.

"Come here," I said, waving him over. He was at my side in an instant.

"Bella, you need to explore your senses," he informed me.

"But why? Why now? I want to spend time with you first," I pleaded.

"Why? Because it would show you all the different things that you can do."

"But what about spending time with you?" I asked innocently.

"You can always do that." He smiled back.

"How 'bout now?"

"Not a chance. You're beginning a new life. You have to know what you can do first."

I sighed and pouted. It wasn't as good as Alice's, but it made him cave.

"Okay, for a few minutes. Then it's back to work."

"Thank you."

"So what do you wanna do?" Edward asked, interested in what I had in mind.

"I thought, maybe we could walk around the outside of your house. Go in the forest and just walk around for a little bit."

"See, that's not too bad," he agreed. "I was afraid it was going to be something much worse."

"Like...?" I probed.

"No way, I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"You know, Edward, that's not very fair."

Edward didn't answer back, he just sat there patiently for a moment. Then he was on his feet, offering me his hand.

"Edward, I can get up myself. I'm not helpless, you know."

"I know, I just like helping you, it makes me feel like a gentleman."

I smiled. "You're not fooling anyone, Edward."

Then he mocked me with a fake hurt expression. "I'm not?"

I laughed at him, the sound musical, even to my ears. "Nope."

"Darn it." Then his face got serious. "Let's go."

I smiled and followed him out of the room. Both of us were walking at super speed. Secretly racing down the stairs, even though nobody called it. I easily beat him, not even trying. When we were at the bottom of the stairs, Edward was laughing.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just, you're so beautiful, that you're easily more beautiful than Rosalie. And you're so fast that you're easily faster than me. I wonder if you're going to be stronger than Emmett." He laughed again.

"I guess that would be funny, wouldn't it?" I began to laugh too.

We finally made it outside. We walked around the woods outside his house over a dozen times. I could smell so many different things, it was so strange. I could smell the trees, the flowers, everything. It seemed like I could smell for miles too.

And my sight. I could see so much detail. It was like everything became alive after my change.

"So, how do you like you're new senses?" Edward's curious voice called to me.

"Oh, it's amazing. I never realized you could see this well. And the smells. Oh my god, the smells."

I began dancing in a circle twenty feet away from Edward, but I could still hear every breath he took.

I wasn't as clumsy as I was before. My casual walking was just as graceful as Alice's, if that was possible.

Everything was so new to me. I would get excited about a butterfly flying around above my head. Or a caterpillar crawling on a leaf.

And I was so giggly. It was embarrassing. But I guess everyone was like that. Weren't they?


	15. Challenge

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

BPOV

After spending time out in the forest, we finally made our way back to the house. Both of us were grinning from ear to ear. I had the time of my life. Watching the moon rise was something that I'd never experienced before. It was amazing.

"You look like you've enjoyed yourselves," Alice said as we walked up to her on the porch where she was patiently waiting for us.

"I believe that's an understatement," I answered, smiling. Alice was ecstatic.

"Yea. Bella's been enjoying herself. She's faster than I am, did you know that?" Edward added. He chuckled again.

Alice whispered so that Emmett wouldn't be able to hear in the house. "You're going to win an arm wrestle match against Emmett!"

I laughed hysterically. "What?!"

Then Emmett walked out of the door to meet us. "I heard someone say 'arm wrestle.'"

"Well..." Alice started.

"Alice and I were just thinking that now that I'm a vampire, we should wrestle. See if I'm stronger than you."

Emmett snorted. "Bring it on. You wouldn't be stronger than me in your dreams."

"Okay, when?" I asked trying to stay cool.

"Tonight. In the living room."

"You're on."

Alice ran into the house, not able to stop herself from laughing, or spilling her guts. Emmett looked at us with a bewildered expression. I just laughed at him. Edward just smiled evilly.

"Okay," Emmett said, as if he knew tat we knew something that he didn't.

He just stared at us for a minute, debating whether he should ask or not, whether we would answer him if he asked.

"What do you guys know?" Emmett asked cautiously.

"Sorry, Emmett, I really have to go upstairs and get ready for the arm wrestle match," I said lamely and ran into the house and up the stairs before he could even catch me.

He then turned to Edward. "I know you know what's going on."

"I have no idea what you're talking about Emmett. If you will excuse me," Edward squeezed past Emmett's form blocking the walkway. "I really need to think."

Emmett stood there completely out of the loop but sure there was something going on that he didn't know about.

"Emmett, what are you doing out here? It's going to rain soon," Rosalie said as she attempted to pull Emmett up the steps.

"Rosalie, do you know what Alice, Bella and Edward are up to?"

Rosalie's face glowered at the mention of Bella. "I have _no_ idea what _Bella_ and the other two are up to. Why?"

"Because they've been acting strange. Bella wanted atm wrestle. We're going to have a match tonight in the living room."

"Oh." Rosalie's face was still glowering.

"Rosalie?"

"What my love?" she asked, her tone off.

"Are you jealous of Bella?" Emmett asked, facing her.

"No, why would I be _jealous_ of _Bella_? Who in this _world_ would be jealous of _Bella_?" Rosalie's voice showed all of the malice that was lying dormant there just moments before.

"I was just asking Rosalie. She may be beautiful, but you're easily more beautiful than she is. Remember that."

"Can we go in now? It's going to rain." Rosalie then succeeded in pulling Emmett in the house.


	16. The Match

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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BPOV

"The match will start in five minutes," Alice informed us after snapping out of her vision.

"Okay, I guess that means I better start getting down there." I jumped to my feet, more than willing to prove Emmett wrong.

"Now Bella, don't be too hard on him. He's only headstrong about his strength because it's the only thing that he has that nobody else doesn't. Don't hurt his ego _too_ much, okay?" Edward held my hands and my eyes for a moment.

"Okay, but it'll take all the fun out of it. You know that, right?" I pulled him down the stairs faster than his legs could move.

"Okay Bells, I know you're hyper, but don't drag me down the stairs." Edward looked at me. "Please?"

"Okay, I'll try not to..." I said slowly, a little disappointed. It was so much fun!

The cheering started as I walked into the living room.

"Are you ready to lose, Bella?" Emmett asked all macho like.

"Yep, I sure am!" I exclaimed, my eyes getting big. Edward rolled his eyes.

"You know, this really won't be fair on you," Emmett said as we gripped each other's hands and planted our elbows on the coffee table.

"Bring it on," I said as Emmett and started to wrestle.

"Oh come on Bella, show me the best you got!" Emmett yelled over the cheering.

"You asked for it, Emmett!" I yelled at him and applied only a fraction of my power to the match.

"Is that all you got?" Emmett asked, barely breathing regularly.

"Not quite, but it looks like it's enough for you," I shouted back competitively.

"Oh, that's not true. I can take everything you have."

"Okay." I used full force and his fist came down hard on the table.

"What!? That's impossible! How'd you beat me? How did you do it?"

"You told me to bring it on, so I did."

"But, you're...you're stronger than me! That can't be!"

"There's an exception to every rule." Esme reminded him.

"But still. She's faster than Edward, and she's stronger than me. That's impossible! How can she have _two_ talents!?"

"She might even have more," Carlisle informed the group.

Emmett then had a look of acknowledgment. "You three knew the whole time that I'd lose, didn't you?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about! You guys knew earlier. You guys let me believe that I was going to win the match so that I'd wrestle you. You didn't tell me what you were up to. Now I know. Only it's too late." Emmett realized.

"But you're the one who agreed to wrestle, even though you knew something was up," I said, poking Emmett in the chest as I said it.

"Because I didn't know that it was the arm wrestle that was up. Alice saw a vision, didn't she?"

"I'm not answering anymore questions," I answered.

"Well, that answers them all for me. You knew! You guys knew that I'd lose!"

"Is that so bad?" I asked innocently.

"Uh, yea. I lost to a girl! A girl!"

"A girl that just happens to be a vampire," I corrected.

"But still, Alice, Rosalie and Esme are girl vampires and you don't see them stronger than me!" I had to admit, he did have a point.

Then Jasper sent tranquil waves out to all of us. We then took a deep breath.

"It was a good match, anyways." I shook Emmett's hand and went up the stairs to me and Edward's room. Edward was soon there, of course.

"So much for letting it go easy," he muttered.

"I'm sorry, he asked for me to be harder on him, so I did," I defended myself.

"But it really hurt his ego."

"If you ask me, his ego was too big to begin with." I looked at Edward's face. "But it was rude of me to do that without caring about it."

"So now what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Am I supposed to do something?"

"Well maybe to make him feel better."

"Edward, it's bad enough that Rosalie is jealous of my beauty, next she's gonna be jealous because I'm too nice to Emmett."

"It would just be the nice and proper thing to do. That's all."

"Oh so you're going to give me the guilt trip?" Then Edward added the puppy face. "Okay, only if you promise to _never_ do that again."

"Promise."

"That was too fast! You don't mean it!" I accused.

"What do you mean I don't mean it?"

"Exactly what I said, 'you don't mean it!'"

"Okay, I promise, for real this time."


	17. Help

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

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JPOV

"Don't worry man, she'll call." Quil rubbed my back, trying to comfort me.

"I know, or at least I _think_ I know," I responded.

Quil's brow furrowed. "Man, she's got a life of her own too, you have to remember that. She'll find a place for you, don't worry about it."

"But, what if she can't come over because she's a danger to me? What if it's happened already? What if she can't find a place for me?" I blabbered on.

"Man, stop, stop. Just stop it, Jake," Quil said, his voice rising.

"But, Quil, you're thinking it too. I know you are."

"Jake, just stop it! Bella will come back, she promised, you know how she is with her promises." Quil looked at me with a serious expression that held one message, 'Don't keep it up.' "Besides, she wouldn't lie to you about giving you a chance to stay her friend. She just wouldn't be that selfish. You know that."

Why did Quil have to make so much sense all the time?

"I guess you're right."

"Thanks for seeing it my way."

"But, maybe I could call her just to see how she is doing... not to pressure her into coming over, just to talk on the phone?"

Wow, did I just ask Quil if that was okay? What is wrong with me?

"Jake, I don't know man. Maybe you should wait another day."

"Why?"

"Because Jake, you don't want her to think that you're too desperate for her company. She'll think that it's not good for you for her to be near you even more than she does already."

"I guess you're right. Tomorrow then."

Quil rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow."

EPOV

I can't believe that Bella beat Emmett in an arm wrestle match. It's too weird to believe. I've never seen Emmett's ego gets crushed so easily. It was so unreal, so normal. So human.

That's the word, human. I've never seen Emmett like that before. He's always been so macho and tough because he's strong.

But then, I instantly felt bad for him. His strength was pretty much the only thing other than us that he really cared about and that was out the window. I hope that Bella does try to make it up to Emmett. Even though he probably did ask for her to give him all she had, she still didn't need to tell him that _that_ wasn't even all that she had. That _might_ have been a little _too _harsh.

BPOV

I can't believe that I actually beat Emmett. And it was so easy. He wasn't that strong at all.

But Edward seemed real worried about Emmett's sanity now that he knew that he wasn't the strongest anymore. I have _no idea_ how I'm going to make it up to him. I guess I have to go to Alice for help. I hope she would know what I was going to do. Maybe she looked in the future.

I stopped at Alice's door and before I even made a motion to knock on the door, she opened it, pulling me in.

"Oh my god Bella!" she exclaimed while jumping up and down excitedly.

"What's the matter with you, Alice?" I asked once she stopped jumping up and down.

"I can't believe you did it! You actually did it!"

"Alice, I need your help."

She stopped talking in her high pitched voice and put on her "serious smile".

"What do you need help with, Bella?"

"You're probably going to disagree with this, but I need to make it up to Emmett for beating him so bad at his best game. It's only fair. I mean, sure I'm stronger than him, so what. I don't really care if I'm stronger or not."

Alice's smile vanished. "You want to know how to make it up to him?"

I nodded. "Yes, if you know, it would help tremendously."

"Why do you want to make it up to him?"

"Because his strength is really the only talent he has and I don't want him to feel bad or inferior about himself because a girl is stronger than him."

"So you don't want to have fun with your glory?"

"Um, Alice, no."

"Why not?"

"Because that's just mean."

"I don't think so."

"Are you going to help me or not?"

"I don't know."

"Alice, come on!"

"Okay, I'll help you, but not because I want to help him, but because I want to help you. Got it?"

"Sure, I got it. How do we help him?"

JPOV

"Why hasn't she called yet? It's almost twilight." I paced, complaining.

"Dude, relax. She's gonna call." Quil stated yet again.

"But, what if he isn't letting her talk to me?"

"Man, you know that's not the case. Please, just stop worrying about it. She'll call you when she can."


	18. Pity

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.**

* * *

BPOV

"Okay, the first thing about Emmett is he puts on a show about being real tough, but he can be a real softy. That doesn't mean that you have to point it out or make it known that you or anyone else knows it. That will only make the problem worse."

"Okay, don't mention his soft side. Got it."

"And Bella, you have to tell him that the rematch has to be in a few months. Explain that it might have been the newborn strength or something that let you beat him."

"Alrighty, newborn strength was the _only_ reason."

"And for your excuse to work, when you do the rematch, you have to actually let him win, otherwise, he'll feel even worse about himself than before."

"Thank you Alice," I exclaimed, gave her a big hug and ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"You're welcome," Alice said after me.

"I still don't understand how she beat me." I heard Emmett saying to someone. "It's just... how?"

I walked into the archway of the room and had to fake a cough to be noticed. Wow, Emmett must really be distracted.

Emmett looked up finally. "Oh, I didn't see you," he said with little interest. This was not Emmett at all, maybe Edward was right.

"Hey, Emmett." I looked at who he was talking to. "Hey, Jasper." Jasper waved back in response. Then he walked over near where I was and gave me a meaningful look.

"Emmett, I think I'm gonna go see what Alice is up to. I'll talk to you later." With another meaningful look, he left me and Emmett in the room.

Emmett probably sensing that I had something to say looked up at me again.

"Emmett, I realize that I might have been a little mean about how I beat you after the match..." I looked at his face a little longer. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt your feelings."

"Bella, I don't want your pity. If that's what you came to me to give, just stop."

"No, I'm not coming to pity you. I'm coming to tell you, I've just been changed, I think we should do a rematch in a few months. After my newborn strength has worn off a little."

"You can't really think that it'll make a difference."

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Because, for one, in a few months your newborn strength still wouldn't have worn off, it takes a year or two for that. And two, I used all of my strength when you were barely using any. You're stronger than me, everyone knows it."

"Emmett, I just feel responsible for how you feel about yourself now. I don't want to be the reason why your ego is squashed."

"Bella, you are not the reason. Don't worry about it."

I looked at him for another moment and turned to leave him alone when I stopped. "Emmett, is there _anything_ that I can do to help you feel better?"

"I don't think so Bella, but thanks anyways."

"Just... let me know if there is," I paused. "If there is anything that I can do, okay?"

"Sure thing." Emmett then looked at me and smiled weakly for my benefit.

—

"Edward, can I use your cell phone please?"

"Who do you need to call?" Edward asked cautioned.

"Edward, if you don't let me call with your cell, I'll just go to Alice." He then reluctantly handed me the cell phone. "Thank you. I'll be back later."

"But Bella, you're a vampire now. You can kill if you're around people. You don't have enough control yet."

"I still hate the smell of blood, Edward. I even hate to feed, you know that."

"But still, you've never been near _human_ blood. Human blood attracts _any_ vampire."

"Edward, I'll be fine." He started to protest. "Edward, don't you trust me?"

"I trust _you_, not the_ monster_ that lies dormant in us. Bella, do you know what they'll do to you if you slip by accident? They'll kill you."

"But I won't slip," I said matter-of-factly.

"Isabella, listen to me, you don't know if you will or not. Look at what Jasper almost did to you on your birthday a couple years ago. He didn't _think_ that he'd slip, but he did. Bella, I don't want you to take that kind of mistake."

"But Edward, I'm going anyways. You can't stop me. You know that," I added.

"I guess your right. Just, be careful, okay. Call Alice if anything happens, okay?"

"You know I'll call." Then I was embraced with a hug from Edward. We kissed until we were too uncomfortable from not breathing.

"I have to go, Edward, I promised."

"I know."

"If I don't go, I'll be breaking my promise to him and I just can't do that."

Edward looked at me meaningfully again. "Just be safe, okay? Please don't risk yourself too much, okay?" he asked wishfully.

"See you later, Edward."

I turned and ran to the car shed. Turning on the car and driving down the driveway, I called Jake. The phone only rang once before his gruff voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Jake?"

"Bella?"

"Yes, Jake?"

"_He changed you already?!_" his angry voice growled.

"Jake, please calm down. I begged him, really," I said soothingly.

He sighed. "So where do you want to meet?"

"I thought I could go to the reservation, if that was okay."

"Bella, you know you can't," he answered unhappily.

"Honestly Jake, I don't even like the smell of blood. I hate hunting. I only hunt animals and only when I have to. I'm completely under control, I swear."

"But Bella, it doesn't change what you are. I'm sorry, I can't let you here."

"Then I guess I'll meet you wherever you want to go."

"Um, maybe we could meet up in the mountains."

"Why in the mountains?"

"Because there are no people around there."

"Seriously Jake, I am _completely_ under control."

"Then we'll test it there."

"What do you mean, 'we'll test it there.'"

"While we're there, I'll test you," he replied.

"Jake, why would you do that? Don't you believe me?"

"_I _believe you, but I don't think that the others will. You want to be able to come to LaPush, right?"

"Yea, I do, but still. Jake, do you think they'll really care?"

"Actually, I do."

"Why is that?" I said with curiosity plain in my voice.

"Because they actually listen to me, and if I tell Sam that you can resist the smell of blood, he'll listen to me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"Are you sure that you trust me enough not to hurt you?"

"Bells, I've never been more sure of anything before."

"Okay, the mountains in like five minutes."

"Five minutes?"

"Yea, why?"

"It only takes you five minutes?"

"Well, I'm already close to them, all I have to do is run like 10 miles."

"Okay, I might be there a little later than five minutes though."


	19. The Mountains

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's, if I did, I'd be rich right now. I'd live somewhere where it was warm all year or at least beautiful. **

**This chapter is a large bridgelike chapter, that's my name for it, lol, not really. Um, yea, I was going to have a bigger chapter, but I'm not really good at the longer ones, as you can tell. I would really like some constructive criticism. It always helps. And anything good that you like, please tell me. **

**I also want to appologize, I changed the name from Seeing New Places to Solar Flare (the name actually came from conversations with my boyfriend Christopher, his nickname for when his brother turned the light on in his room when it was dark...) anyway, I'm sorry for that change. I will have to fix all of the previous chapters, because I've just realized that I put the name on the top of them also. Sorry again. I don't mean to confuse you guys. **

* * *

JPOV

I can't believe she called. She actually called.

The only problem was, in order for her to come back to LaPush, she had to prove that she was safe. Because of what _he_ did to her. Regardless of what she said, he still did it. And anyways, aren't you supposed to _protect_ your wife, not have her die so she can stay with you forever.

Yea, he sure was a gentleman. I don't even know what she sees in him. It doesn't matter anymore, I can't be with her anymore anyways. It's done, she's changed. Now, I have to live with it. Which is already hard and bound to get harder when I see her, when I have to smell that disgustingly sweet scent wafting off of her.

I felt a pang in my heart. What if I couldn't stand her anymore? What if my body determined what I do? Whether I stay her friend or not. I don't want that to control my life.

I shook my head, I'd think about it when the time came. When I got there to deal with it. Right now, I needed to get to that mountain, fast. She said that she would be there in five minutes.

I was in my human form so that Sam and the others wouldn't know what I was about to do. If they knew, they would stop me. I had to show them that she wasn't a threat to anyone. She couldn't be a threat, not my sweet Bella.

It took me ten minutes, but I finally got to the mountains. She was there, of course, not even out of breath or scraped like the old Bella would have been. She was beautiful, just like always, but more so now. Her eyes still the same color brown as they were before the change, I wonder why.

She laughed at me. "It took you long enough," she said with amusement clear on her face.

"How long did it take you?" I asked with a smile on my lips.

"Oh, maybe two, three minutes tops," she said confidently.

"Are you kidding? Three minutes?" I asked, not believing a word of it. "It must have taken longer than that!"

She shook her head. "Nope, I'm faster than everyone, Jake."

"Really? Even _him_?" Anger colored my voice and I heard a hint of malice there too. I loathed Edward.

Ugh, I thought his name. I didn't want it to even lie there, in my head. I wanted to not know anything about him. I wanted to forget that he didn't exist. I wanted mythical creatures not to exist, then maybe me and Bella would have had a chance for a normal life. Maybe.

"You know, Jake, he has a name. It's Edward. And yes, even faster than him."

"Wow, that's a shocker. How did he take that?"

"Very well, actually."

"What else can you do?"

"Well, I'm very strong, too."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

"Well, show me what you got."

"What, right now?" she asked with disbelieve clear in her voice.

"Yea, why not? Are you afraid you're going to lose?"

"No, I'm just afraid of hurting your ego too much. I've already done that to one person," she said with shame.

"Who?"

"Emmett."

"Well, who cares? He wasn't that strong anyway."

"Um, Jake, do you know which one's Emmett?"

"The small blonde blood-, I mean, _vampire_, right?"

"No," she said laughing at me like what I said was the best joke she'd ever heard. "Emmett is the big brawny one. The muscular one."

I looked at her face, she was telling the truth. _She beat him?_ He was like twice her size, and way more strong than _any_ werewolf, even Sam. How was that possible?

She laughed even louder. "You look like you've seen a ghost, Jake."

"You beat that guy?"

"Yea, in an arm wrestling match," she looked at me, worried, I realized. "Why?"

"Well, it's just, he's so big, and strong and..."

"What, he's stronger than you? Is that what you mean? Is that why you can't believe it?"

I looked at her. How could she know that? How did she figure that out? Did she know all along that she was stronger than me? If so, I wouldn't be able to protect myself if she _did_ want to drink my blood. I'd be completely in her control.

Suddenly, this plan didn't sound so good. What if something went wrong? What if she wasn't as strong as she thought she was? What if she couldn't resist my blood?

"Jake, are you okay? Do you need me to take you home?" Concern washed over her features. Every word was warm.

I shook my head to come back to reality. "No, I'm fine, Bells."

"You sure? I can always take you back unnoticed, I'll be so fast that nobody will know I've been there."

She walked towards me then, for the first time since the change. I flinched and instantly regretted it. I looked up briefly to see her hurt expression. I didn't like hurting her. I never did.

"I'm sorry, Bella. It's just, a reflex."

"I know, it's because I smell, isn't it?" she said, ashamed.

I instantly smelled the air to prove her wrong and was surprised to find that she actually smelled good. She smelled just the same as she did the last time I remember. Nothing about her smell was disgusting. I smiled, at least I wouldn't have to lie about her smell. That was good.

"Actually, you smell just as wonderful as you did before the change. That's one thing that hasn't changed."

She looked at me for a moment. Wondering if it was a good idea to try to get any closer or not. She decided to try, only slower now. I saw her exaggerated slow movements and laughed.

She looked up into my eyes, they were filled with confusion. "What?"

"You don't have to baby me, Bella. You're not going to scare me."

"I'm just being careful, I don't want you to freak out if I touch you without you even see me coming."

"I'd know it was you though."

"How?"

"Because you're the fastest vamp around, nobody else would be able to move as fast as you."

She smiled her wonderful big smile, it made me melt.

"You do not have any idea what that smile does to me..." I trailed.

Her smile faded. "What? What does what to you?"

I realized I'd said that out loud. I covered my mouth and repeated, 'What have I done?' in my head over and over again.

"What did I do?" Bella asked, concerned.

I sighed. "It's nothing that _you_ did. It's something that _I _did, not you."

"What are you talking about, Jake?" she asked me with a smoldering energy from her eyes that made me want to tell her everything. Every little detail in my life.

"I... I..."

Then Bella shook her head. "You don't have to answer, I know what it is. It's this stupid vampire beauty, isn't it? It's got you enchanted, doesn't it?"

All I could do was nod.

She swarmed my in a hug and said sorry's in my ear.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because, I used to hate it when Edward did that to me before. It drove me crazy because when I didn't want to tell him something, I was forced to. Not that it was always a bad thing, but you should never have to tell someone anything that you don't want to. Never. And now I'm doing it to someone else. It's just, I promised myself that I wouldn't let this change me too much, that I'd stay somewhat the same. And it is changing me. It has changed me. I'm starting to become something, someone that I'm not."

"Bells, that could never happen. You will always be the Bella that I've always known. That will never change. You know that, right?"

"Are you sure? Are you sure that I haven't changed already? How can you be so sure, Jake? How?" She looked like she could have cried if she was able. I didn't like her to hurt like this. Why did he do this? He made her this way! He made her sad!

"I know this because you always will love me, your father, your family, your friends... even Edward," I choked out his name. How could I even let it escape my lips? My soul felt instant betrayal from my body. But I forced myself to look at her face and give her a sincere smile. She smiled back.

"Thank you, Jake," she said quietly.

I held her for a moment, then I decided now was the time. I had to do it now or never.


	20. Instincts

**Disclaimer: again, I don't own anything that Stephenie Meyer has written. It would be nice to be rich, but sadly, no. Lol. **

**I wrote this in school, boring stupid computer applications... Most of the work I get done in 10 minutes and we're in there for like 90 minutes. I hope everyone likes it, it's not very long. I couldn't think of alot to do in this chapter, which is weird, because whenever I'm writing with Bella and Jacob in a chapter, things just flow to me, but this one was very difficult. I have no clue why.**

**Yesterday was my birthday party, I'm now 16, yay! Lol. This morning, I was so happy, I made mom breakfast; maple sausage, scrambled eggs and chocolate covered strawberries. I _love_ chocolate covered strawberries! They are my favorite! **

**I also had a pep rally yesterday at my school... How come those are always so boring? They only do like two game like competitions and the rest is the stupid sports teams being introduced. I mean, an hour and a half to introduce sports teams? Couldn't you just have them all come down at the same time and have them stand in the center and say, 'These are the students who make up the sports teams.' Or at least have all of the players come down with the certain sport that they play, like all the basketball players and stuff like that, speed it up a little? **

**Anyway, I'm sorry if my opinion of pep rallys didn't affend you at all, I just found it a little annoying. Now that I've probably bored you to death, I'll leave you alone to read. **

* * *

JPOV

I finally let go of Bella, looking into her eyes for the strength I needed to do what I was about to do. What I needed to do.

Ancestors give me strength, I thought loudly in my head, hoping that something heard me. Somebody, help me do what I know I have to, I said again in my head.

I took a deep breath, now was the time to do it. I couldn't tell Bella what I was about to do, she would stop me or run away. She didn't want to put me in danger, she'd leave first.

Looking down at my pocket, I reached into it and cut my hand on the knife I kept there. I looked up incredulously at her; she looked back at me in shock.

"What did you do, Jake?!" she exclaimed.

"It's the only way... it's the only way for you to be able to come to the reservation. I have to prove that you can't and won't hurt anyone, no matter what."

"Jake, I didn't say that I _couldn't_ kill you! I only said that I don't like the smell, not that I won't drink it! I'm not safe enough for you to bring up surprise attacks like that! Why would you do that without telling me? You know that if I _was_ to lose control you'd end up dead!" she hollered at me, never loud enough to sink in, I was numb. My blood did nothing to her! She was harmless, mostly, anyways.

"Are you even listening to me?!" she exclaimed again, starting to get agitated with my selective hearing.

"Huh," I said and she sighed, throwing her arms up in the air.

"Do you want to be murdered? Do you care what that would do to me?" she paused to stare me down. "Do you?"

I sighed, she was right. Why did I do that? What had been running through me head? Was I crazy? Obviously, some part of me was.

"It's just, when I thought about how you wouldn't be allowed to come to LaPush unless you proved that you were harmless, I couldn't think of anything else to do. I knew that if you or anyone else knew what I was going to do, you wouldn't let me." I looked at Bella, she was still too angry to look at, her eyes were as pitch black as ink on a page, I'd never saw her this angry. "Bells, I know you're angry with me, but please, I didn't realize that it would ever be a problem. I didn't realize that it might cause me to die or cause you to get hurt."

"You didn't _realize_? You didn't _realize_ that I'm a _vampire_? You didn't realize that a vampire drinks _blood_? You didn't _realize _that if I hurt you in anyway or was ever in danger of hurting you, that that would hurt _me_? You didn't think that I would be hurt that you would stoop to that to prove something that might not even be true?" she paused to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Jake, I am stronger than you, I am stronger than everyone. You wouldn't have been able to stop me if I attacked you. Please _try_ to grasp that! I am not harmless, I am far from it. I am dangerous, even more dangerous than you could imagine. And that's amplified because I have nobody here but you to stop me from doing anything that could harm you, you're completely alone with me and my instincts."

"But you said that you don't like the smell of blood," I countered, trying to reason with her. She just shook her head, she wasn't so angry anymore, just very concerned and something else that I didn't recognize. Fear? Shame?

"I said that _I_ don't like the smell of blood, not that the demon inside me - the monster - doesn't. Jake, my instincts will always over rule everything else, especially right now. I'm still a newborn, Jake, I don't have that _much_ control yet, you have to understand that! You have to grasp that, Jake! I don't want to put you in danger again. I won't come again if you don't understand the danger I can impose on you, the death that will come to you if you don't stop this suicidal behavior around me."

"But I don't believe that you could hurt me, ever, Bella," I argued.

"Jake, I couldn't if I had control of my instincts, if not; I don't know what would happen."

"How could that be?"

"Jake, when vampires let their instincts control what they do, they don't remember anyone. If someone from their family was to interfere with their hunting, the family memeber would probably get hurt. Vampire instincts take over everything that could reason. Once a vampire is in that mode, there's nothing getting in between them and their prey," she paused to look at my face to see if I understood, then continued. "Jake, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you see me like that, or if I attacked you while being that way. It would kill me." Bella then pinched her nose again. Her face was scrunched up, as if she was in pain just by thinking about it happening.

"I'm sorry Bells, I wasn't thinking. It won't happen again, I promise, you have my word. I will never do anything to hurt you again, Bella," I vowed.


	21. Vision

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight, if I did, I wouldn't be going to high school.**

* * *

BPOV

I understood why Jake did what he did, he wanted things to be normal for once. He wanted things to stay the same for once. And inside, I kind of found what he did noble. He loved me so much that, him possibly getting killed over what he did didn't matter to him.

The part that I _didn't_ like was he trusted the monster in me so easily. _That_ bothered me a little. Because what if he trusted it too much and one day my monster wasn't controlled? What if I slipped? Even slipping once could either kill him or turn him into a werewolf vamp. And I wasn't even sure the later was possible.

Edward's phone rang, pulling my mind back on the task at hand; driving slowly home from the mountain.

I shuffled through my purse that was sitting on the passenger seat of my car.

By the time I got the cell phone out of my purse, the call had already gone to voice mail. I looked at the screen. Twenty missed calls. All of them from Alice's phone, that was probably stolen by Edward.

I sighed, shaking my head. I dialed Alice's number, waiting for Edward's eager and impatient voice to greet me. Instead, I was surprised by Alice's.

"Bella! You have to get here! Edward is driving everyone nuts!"

"Why? What's going on?"

"He just misses you a lot and..." Alice trailed.

"And what, Alice?" I asked impatiently.

"I saw a vision today," Alice said, trying to hide her curiosity.

"What do you want to know?"

"Did he really do what he was going to do?"

"Yes," I answered, unamused.

"What happened? Did you attack him?"

"No, I didn't attack him."

"Really? You didn't lose control?"

"No, I didn't lose control. Everything was fine."

"Doesn't sound like it. Why are you so grouchy?"

"Maybe because you were expecting me to attack Jake? Or maybe that you thought that I'd lose control at all?"

"Oh."

"Does Edward know?"

"Well..."

"He does doesn't he?"

"I didn't mean to let it slip, it just happened, I couldn't control it."

"I'm not mad. I just wondered..."

"He's out looking for you, by the way."

"When were you going to tell me this?"

"I'm sorry."

"If he comes back before I do, tell him that I will be there soon."

"Ok-," Alice couldn't complete what she was saying because I hung up on her throwing the cell phone in my purse.


	22. A Quiet Little Drive

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight, if I did, I'd be rich and I would have to write fanfics, they'd be published by a publishing house. **

**I am sad to say that this is the last chapter for Solar Flare. It is complete. I _am_ thinking about writing a sequel. But I'll only write one if I can think of something new that I want to happen or if so many people want me to continue. Otherwise, there will _not _be a sequel. **

* * *

BPOV

After hanging up on Alice, I felt horrible. She was already afraid of me being mad at her, and now, she probably felt certain that I was. I probably made her feel worse about herself.

I immediately sped up and began racing home. I had to get there soon. Not only did I need to explain that I wasn't angry with Alice, but also that nothing happened when Jake did what he did. I had to tell everyone that I didn't attack him or lose control.

I was trying to think of what I was going to say when a figure appeared in front of my car suddenly. I tapped on the brakes and the car stopped immediately, not even hesitating. I strained my eyes to see what was there. The figure had a wild, crazed, angry gleam in his cold black eyes. He definitely wasn't happy.

I couldn't think of it being anyone but Edward.

He slowly approached the car, breathing slowly as an attempt to calm down; his arms at his sides, fists clenching and unclenching. He had his head bowed down partly, so I couldn't see his face, probably trying to hide his menacing expression.

I rolled down my window, not sure I wanted to step outside.

"Bella," he said, his voice guarded from emotion.

"Edward," I said back, matching his tone.

"I'm not sure what happened, and I'm sure that nothing _did_ happen, but..." Edward's voice sounded vulnerable. He was either very angry with me or very angry with someone else. And both me and you know who the 'someone else' is...

"You want to know what happened, don't you?" I asked, seeing right through what he was saying.

"You don't have to tell me. I just... it's just..." I knew what the problem was, he was worried that he did something that would cause me to get hurt.

"You'd feel better if I told you?" It was so much of a question as it was a statement.

"Yes, completely better."

"Well... 'm not sure what you already know..."

"All I know is that he was meeting you in the mountains and he was planning to prove that you were harmless," he started, then his eyes got darker. "I don't know how he planned on doing it, but I have a clue." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Edward, calm down. He won't do it again, I promise you that."

"How can you promise that? It's not like he said that he wouldn't do it again."

"Actually, he did."

It was silent while Edward thought a moment, looking me straight in the eyes until he was satisfied.

"What did he do?" Edward finally said, his expression changing to concern, pleading that what he was suspecting wasn't true.

"He tried to prove that I was harmless by cutting his hand," I stated, then realized how bad it sounded and kept going. "But nothing happened to him other than what he did to himself. I didn't lose control, not for a second."

"Stupid werewolf," Edward growled. I decided that I should probably tell him the whole story so he wouldn't hate Jake too much more than he did already.

"I did explain that I could lose control more easily then not and that I'm stronger and faster than anyone."

"And what did he say? Did he believe you?"

"He promised that he wouldn't have done it if he knew and that he won't do it again. He just wanted to prove that I was harmless, that's all. He wanted things to be normal for once." I paused then started again, "Silly way though. Him and his stupid suicidal behavior..." I threw in for good measure, trying to cheer Edward up a little.

"So you didn't lose control? Was it because he's a stinky _dog_?" Edward said smugly.

"Actually, he didn't stink at all. He smelled the same as before the change."

"So he smelled like a dirty dog _before_ the change too?" Edward said, all of the smugness gone from his voice and expression.

"_No_, he never smelled, not even before the change."

"Really? He stinks to me, I wonder why he doesn't to you..."

"I have no idea why. He said that I don't stink either."

Edward's expression changed again, he obviously didn't want to know that.

"So nothing happened? You didn't bite him or anything?"

"No! I didn't! Why is everyone so shocked that nothing happened?! Is everyone betting that I'm going to go around killing everything I see?"

"No, we're just concerned. Usually newborns can't control themselves as well as you can. We're just worried that you're not really in control yet and you'll get too relaxed and forget to pay attention to keeping your urges under control. We're not plotting how you are going to fail, Bella. That's not what we're doing at all."

"So why did you leave as soon as you found out? Why didn't you wait for me to come home? Why did you not trust that I wouldn't do anything?" I asked, desperate to find another reason for him worrying other than the possibility that I might lose control.

He looked into my eyes and I could tell the reason he was so worried. I knew that he wasn't sure _how_ or _if_ I could handle Jake's stunt. _That's _why he reacted the way he did. He didn't want me to do something I'd regret. But he didn't have enough time to stop it from happening.

"I... I'm sorry that I didn't trust that nothing would happen. It's not that I don't trust _you_, it's your _instincts_ that I don't trust." he looked into my eyes again, pain clear in his features. "I didn't want you to have to live with killing your best friend, even though I don't care for him all that much."

I stopped him with my hand. "I know that if I was to start losing control and I bit him, I could have stopped if you came. I know I would have, if you came in time, he wouldn't have gotten killed."

"Bella, a werewolf can't live with vampire venom in their veins, they die. It kills them. They can't change into a vampire, they won't last the change. You _would_ have killed him in the end, even if you stopped."

"But in the battle, they got bitten and nothing happened. Nobody died."

"Bella, that wasn't from sucking blood, and anyways, they had medical attention before the change could take effect."

"So if a werewolf accidentally gets bitten, and you can stop drinking, you can reverse it with medical attention?"

"Only from Carlisle, and I don't think that you should look forward to that."

"Why, it makes me feel like I can be around him without worrying about killing him."

"Bella, you can't think that losing control is ever a good thing, or that it's ever alright! It's not! You can hurt him, Bella. What if you can't stop? What if the werewolves find out and they come after you? They'll be able to kill you, they have a treaty. You can die, Bella. I will never be able to bring you back, ever."

"I don't think that it's alright, Edward. I would never think that's alright! I still have the same values as always! I just find it a little comforting that if I find the strength to stop, he won't die."

"But Bella, every vampire's venom is different! Your venom could be very strong, just like your body or very weak. You can never tell! You don't know that he won't die!"

"Oh, I didn't realize..." I said, realizing that my confidence just fell almost completely. I could still kill him, even if I _did_ stop. I could hurt him, just by seeing him, being near him.

"Do you understand now why I was so upset?" Edward asked, trying not to be so harsh.

"Yea, I understand now. I didn't know that our venom is different. I didn't know that I could still kill him. I'm sorry, Edward, I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Edward took a deep breath and looked up at the stars, he was still standing next to my door. He finally looked back at me, "Do you mind if I come inside? I'm getting soaked out here." It was raining again, like always.

"Sure," I said and unlocked the passenger door in record time.

He opened the door and thanked me silently before shutting the door.

"So what do you think about going to Alaska?" he asked, springing the question on me like a jack-in-the-box

"Right now?" I asked, surprised.

"Yea, why not?" he asked, using my favorite crooked smile.

"Without telling anyone?" I asked in misbelieve.

"I doubt that they don't already know."

He looked at me. "Alice." We both said together.

He waited a minute then asked, "So?"

"Sure, why not." I said, returning his smile with my own. He turned towards me and kissed me full on the lips. If I had been a human, not only would I have been dizzy, but I would have also been swerving off the road. But with my vampire abilities, even though I was dizzy a little, I could still drive without going out of the lines on the freeway.

So we drove off into the night towards Alaska, driving as slowly as possible, just to enjoy the ride.


End file.
